Srinivas Padma: Personal Musings on Life, Growth, and Connections

Dear Tech Support Team: Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activities. Applications such as BachelorNights 10.3, Cricket 5.0, BeerWithBuddies 7.5, and Outings 3.6 no longer runs, crashing the system whenever selected. I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 5.0 , but the 'uninstall' doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help! Thanks, "A Troubled User" REPLY: Dear Troubled User: This is a very common problem that people complain about. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0 , thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 5.0. It is impossible t

1. Possessiveness : Women always seem to have serous security issues. They need men to hold them, and tell them how special they are. 2. Hopping : Not only is the list end less, they check 10 different stores before finally buying something from the one they first saw. You will won der why she spent so much time roaming around. 3. Never satisfied : They spend hours preening in front of the mirror while you do not see the slightest change. 4. Fashion : Her tastes in fashion change so frequently that you either run out of breath trying to catch up, or end up wondering whether you are too dumb to catch up. At the end of the month you will also wonder why your wallet suddenly looks so empty. 5. They notice the minutest things :Why do women have to criticise everything from hairstyle to shoes? Only a woman can notice something as trivial as the purse not matching the shoes!

Virginity like bubble - one prick all gone Man who run in front of car get tired Man who run behind car get exhausted Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok Man with one chopstick go hungry Man who scratches ass should not bite fingernails Man who eat many prunes get good run for money Baseball is wrong, man with four balls cannot walk Panties not best thing on earth but next to best thing on earth War doesn't determine who is right, war determines who is left Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night It take many nails to build crib but one screw to fill it Man who drive like hell bound to get there Man who stand on toilet is high on pot Man who lives in glass house should change clothes in basement Man who fishes in other man's well often catches crabs Man who farts in c